That’s the number of days since my last post here.
I’d like to say “Happy New Year 2017!” How was January? and February? Oh! hope March was good to you? …. (you get the drift). I actually didn’t fall of the face of the earth; life just happened to me. A lot has changed in the past 12 months – work and residential city, responsibilities, perspective to life and events, expectations, obligations, standards, friends (or the lack of them…lol), family members – Everything!
But as usual, welcome here once again. I hope you are well!
Truthfully, I won’t say everything that has changed has been positive and I won’t even deny that I’m gradually evolving into someone different. In the midst of all this, I’ve come to develop a strong sense of self-awareness and all in all, I am happy – not more, not less, but happy.
I’ll go ahead to share highlights of 2017 as one of my nudge write-ups:
Started: the year with a gratitude journal. Peep what I was grateful for until 365 days ago here.
Lost: a very dear cousin. February 23, 2017. 11:23AM. I recall preparing for an exam when I got the numerous calls hinting me of his death. For 4 uncertain dark hours, I assumed the worst and I told myself that I could handle it, if it eventually came to that; until I heard the actual words “They said your brother, ‘Towo is dead”. I literally felt my heart physically ache for the first time in my entire life. My siblings and I had a mini memorial for him earlier this week, I concluded that in years to come, I may forget everything else about him, but I will never forget this – The Prince has gone to rest!
Discovered: LoveMichelleAna – She is strength-personified. Love in human form. I admire the way she loves and trusts God. I look up to that. Here’s a background to her story: In January, 2017, at 26 years old, she lost her husband of 4 years, a day to his 27th birthday in the middle of a worship session. She handled it with so much grace and you could see that she trusted God with her whole existence even through all the loss and pain. Watch her story here
Moved: to a new city. new culture, new work colleagues, new friends, new relationships, just different.
Gained: a beautiful new niece – Joan a.k.a JoJo. My first actually. Gosh! I just love her.
Changed: jobs. I got a new opportunity / offer in the least expected ways. While trying to fix the mess I got myself in while running one of my side hustles, I got the opportunity that changed my year and ultimately my life. I consider every opportunity a blessing
Learning: to let go of things that literally clutter my life and hold me down physically and figuratively. I realize the first step to clearing your mental space and setting yourself free is decluttering your physical space. It’s easier to get your back and get moving when you have less luggage – literally and figuratively. I’m learning not to hold on to anything too much. Life is so damn fickle! dang!
Wore: lots of black and white….and blue jeans. I’ve tried to minimize my wardrobe into blacks, whites, greys, pale colors and neutrals. You still see a some colour here and there. But I’m happy with how much I’m comfortable in black, white and grey. I could wear those colors everyday.
Stopped: trusting myself a little too much. Funny right. well, it happened. At some point during the year, I had to do an SOS email to a stranger to deliver me from myself because I just missed a part of who I used to be and he helped me. Shala to Nathan of SGIT.
Travelled: a few times. Was out of the country for about half of the year. My new job and project gives me the opportunity to travel to a good number of African countries over and over. I added 3 more to the bag this year and had the opportunity to go / live in those countries for a while. That was cool, somewhat.
Understood: the meaning of responsibility and making decisions. I get to handle more responsibilities with work and life generally and I now understand that many people don’t like to make decisions or take responsibility for anything. Many just want to be told what to do, but, they never admit it. I understand that we’re all wired differently based on our background and …
Found: Hope, peace, companionship and bliss in weird places. Never judge a book by its cover. It could be the best book ever written. Never judge a story by its intro. it could be the best story ever told.
Spoke: A lot more french. Baby steps, baby. Big baby steps. haha!
Became: “Obscure”. I just went into hiding. You have no idea what I’m up to. Just my bare face on instagram like “hey, I’m still alive though”. This new city makes it worse.
Used: this phrase may times this year – “I am my own …” – I am my doctor. I am my encourager. I am my cheerleader. I am my friend. I’ve got my back. A lot of people have been many things to me which I greatly appreciate and do not take for granted, but ultimately I am my “person”
Felt: Very comfortable with no romantic relationships…errrr…this is probably a different post for another day; but it happens that, without any offence or reason at all, I was just not interested in being emotionally involved with people that tried for the most part of the year. You would always feel me push back with a massive force. You know that feeling where one will say “gurl! what did they do to you that made you so unexcited about dating?” Yeah. That feeling. Loool. A few friends are of the opinion that not having any expectations towards any guy is because I’m trying to hide some insecurity. Well, I would say “If I’m not gonna get it right, I’m not getting it at all” – that’s my insecurity. *Tongue out*
This is getting long. I need to stop now.
But guess what? 2018 was Amazing because I already see ahead of it!
See you soon buddies! I’ll write more.